…in a daze of nappies, weaning and all things baby and toddler. This last year and half has passed in such a blur. I’d like to say it was a happy blur, but alas it’s been quite the roller-coaster ride.
On the one hand, I’ve been seeing Little One grow from being a beautiful baby to a very active toddler. This has brought untold treasured moments of laughter and fun.
On the other hand, I’ve been battling depression. It’s hard even just admitting and typing this, especially when I am so used to achieving, coping with my circumstances. Not sure if it’s been post-natal or reactionary, though either way it’s has been so very debilitating. Then there is the exhaustion, outright, nothing left in the tank to even raise my arms, exhaustion.
The mind is willing, wanting, pleading to be able to achieve something, but the body dictates otherwise. So, I’ve been concentrating on me, my family and getting through each day. Tonight is the first night I’ve had the energy to pick up my laptop and write, and boy, have I been wanting to write – to find some sort of creative release through the mundaneness of washing, laundry and CBeebies.
…and what of dwarfism? What of dwarfism…. it’s taken a back seat lately while I concentrate on being a mum and wife. As I come out of my baby bubble, it’s started to make it’s presence felt once more. Whether it’s noticing the stares, the comments from strangers when I get a rare moment outside home to myself, and the health issues. I’m needing to acknowledge them again, to make sense of such things, something to give me a voice that does not and is not given. I realise that there are lots of groups of people who struggle to find or have their voices heard. Here’s mine… take from it what you will, leave what you don’t care for at the click of a mouse.
But what I would like to say, again, is Hello, from Little Lady – I’m back!