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The week the world changed

The week the world changed…

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, it’s been the week that the world changed…

The C-word is most definitely on our shores and for us as a family have been hunkering down in the house.

There’s nothing like a pandemic to put your life and the way you live into stark light.

It’s been a mixed week in many respects.  My anxiety is through the roof.  I’ve been feeling incredibly anxious and teary. Trying to home school has been like pulling teeth with DD.  I’ve been stressed that our routine has changed so quickly.

On the other hand, it’s felt like a sigh of relief to do things on our timescale.  The sun has shone for most of the week. Laundry has been dried on the line for the first time this year.

Flowers have bloomed in the garden.

We’ve been eating better meals, joining in with Joe Wick’s PE Teacher videos on YouTube, helping DD learn how to ride her bike, being out in the fresh air, more than I usually would. Most surprising is that I have lost weight.

Things I’ve learnt this week

  • How scary it is that the supermarkets’ shelves can empty when people are scared and that the systems we rely on, can easily fall over, especially being hypoglycemic.
  • People will still use microaggressions to assert their dominance in physical spaces regardless of the 2-metre rule.
  • That I’m probably going to stay close to the house because of this.
  • The sunshine and warmth always make you feel better.
  • Actively staying off social media or watching the news is one way of protecting our mental health.
  • It’s amazing how quickly places and services can be made accessible and online when they threaten the existence of that organisation. Yes, this is a bit of a jibe, mostly though it’s a relief. There are services and businesses that I wanted to engage with, but would ordinarily take too much energy to physically travel to.
  • All the fabulous content and resources are starting to feel overwhelming especially when you’re focusing on trying to get through the day and keep on top of the laundry and making sure family members are ok.
  • That said, if you have the chance to join the Isolation Creation group on Facebook, do. It’s been comforting to see fellow creatives work while we’re all under lock-down.
  • Feeling like I should be setting up new blogs and making the most of the online business boom we’ve seen this week, yet as I realised before we went into lockdown, I am fundamentally tired and battle-weary. Tired of pushing, tired of trying to get stuff off the ground, tired of politics – nationally and community-wise. Physically tired from being pulled in a million directions of what I should be doing rather than being more conscious of my actions.
  • Being down-heartened after realising that the planned funding you were going to do, is taken away to deal with the current pandemic. Leaving me to wonder if the arts world is where I need to be, or at the very least, look at other paths that enable me to be creative.
  • That I have been living in panic-mode for far too long and it is no longer necessary nor sustainable.  I am in a safe space and place, it’s time to settle into this because…
  • I REALLY need to start prioritising and respecting my creativity. It’s been neglected for far too long. Yet to not put pressure on myself to produce for any sort of gain.
  • Realising I want to help and contribute to the world more… and how I need to figure that out in a way that I can balance in a healthy way.

While the nature of the current crisis is scary and unsettling in many ways, I’ve also been reminded, starkly, how lucky I am in many respects.  I am beyond grateful that I get to hold my daughter and husband close at this time.

A recipe for change?

I have a feeling that the world will change significantly.

How could it not?

In the way we move around the world, yes. Yet also how we interact with each other.  To demand more stable ways of employment, to question government response to such crises, and how ultimately we look after each other as a society.

That by being forced to sit with ourselves, that we will finally have the time to figure out how to live life on more our own terms.

Over to you…

What about you? How are you finding the lockdown so far? What resources have you been pleased to see that you wouldn’t normally? Leave a comment below and let me know.

 

 

2 comments

  1. Adrian says:

    Hi Steph. We are hunkering too. Well we are in total shield mode because of Linda’s immunocompromised status which puts her in the highest risk category and of course I (and my grown up kids) become the biggest threat to her. So we are at a distance from each other even in the house and that’s hard. Oh I could do with a hug!

    But similarly it has been a time of creativity and mutual support too. Of setting up an online book club with friends, of zoom tea parties and last night we even took part in a Facebook popquiz in Dutch.

    And we’ve done this brilliant thing of setting up a whole radio station with 4 studios and a production room, news team, live lounge etc with everybody in their own homes and working remotely from each other. And we’ve told OFCOM that next week we are going to start broadcasting on FM as well as the internet because we need to connect with older isolated people in our community who don’t have access to the internet but so listen to the radio. (so you might have to visit me in prison after this is all over if OFCOM don’t give the permission that our MP and Tracey Brabin- shadow culture minister- have asked for on our behalf 😉

    Longer term implications of this… for me, for the world…I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about that. Will anyone go back to shaking hands?

    Stay strong. Stay safe. Stay home. (And let’s catch up soon)

    • Little Lady says:

      Hi Adrian, it must be very worrying for you and Linda. We all know it’s for the best in the long run, though it doesn’t feel that way at the moment. I think there’s definitely a degree of dealing with grief this week, of life changing so quickly, yet it’s been wonderful to see people and organisations step up when and where they can.

      Thank you for the invite to the book group, and apologises for not replying (and please let me know if there’s another one!). It’s been a time of adjustment, testing our resilience and not pushing DD too much with school work. We’ve framed it as a holiday for this week, with the aim of getting into a better routine next week. While disorientating in many respects, it’s been a relief of sorts to take life at a pace that suits us as a family. I wonder what will become of the world now, change has been made by ordinary people, and my hope is that is recognised going forward. Personally, it would be a small relief not to shake hands with people – but that is another subject for another time.

      Good luck with the broadcast too (and OFCOM)! Will have a listen in online. Radio is an incredible medium that stands the test of time and technology.

      Keep safe – all of you! And yes, let’s catch up soon!

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